帮我看一下我的英语翻译是否有错误，下面中英对照，请英语好的人帮帮我~

帮我看一下我的英语翻译是否有错误，下面中英对照，请英语好的人帮帮我~

In that summer when I was fourteen ,I remembered it was a heavy rain day,my classmates held their umbrellas and left our school in the afternoon.When I looked the umbrella which had been broken by my classmates, it made a large hurt in my heart . Then two conceited boys came to laught at me and said to me:".we are going to take a photograp when you are in rains becuse we think it is very interesting and we will stick it on our school gate as a notice tomorrow."

That summer I was fourteen. I remember there was a heavy rain some day. My classmates held their umbrellas and left school in the afternoon. My umbrella had been broken by my classmates. I looked at it and my heart hurt. Two boys came over and laughed at me: "You look so funny when you are soaked in the rain. we will take a photo for you and post it on our school gate tomorrow." I felt so shamed by them that every day since then became a deadly pain for me.
虽然与中文并非逐字对应，却是严格依照你的英语原文进行的基本修改。看看是否合意？

went to 不是离开。是去的意思，在这里可以翻译成 来到 ，最后一句应该是“自从那次的事以后，我感觉很自卑，天天过着生不如死的日子”

应该严格按照原文翻译而不能自己发挥，否则只能叫改编而不是翻译了。

你是问英语的还是中文的，我觉得英语有些地方不对