看资深写作老师如何点评，修改托福雅思

看资深写作老师如何点评，修改托福雅思

People will spend less time cooking and preparing food in twenty years than they do today. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?（在20年内，人们会花比今天更少的时间去做饭）
With the development of society, cooking or preparing food for people is less important than before. However, some people disagree with the statement for the reason that it is better for us to cook and prepare by ourselves because we will choose the best meat, vegetable and so on, in order to cook the best healthy meal. In my opinion, I agree with the statement.
点评：开头段大的问题是立场不明确，因为**句，做饭不重要，第二句，人们会去做饭，第三句，当这位作者说我同意的时候，明显是同意第二句，但是下文却都是在说未来人们会少做饭，所以大的问题在这。优点：基本没有语法错误。

Admittedly, it makesense that people will not spend less time cooking and preparing food in twenty years than they do today. Nowadays, we have been in the peaceful society so that we will have more time to relax. The more time we have, the healthier food we will cook by ourselves. As a result, people will pay more attention to cook and learn more about the healthy diet.追答点评：让步段。**句，作者需表明的是一个实质的理由，是什么原因让人们做饭的时间更多，而不是直接摆上与题目相反的观点。第二三句，作者说人们时间多了，就有了更多时间做饭的可能性，这是可以的，但后面需加上时间多不意味着人们就去做饭了，可以做更多其他有意义的事情。也就是说作者需要在让步段的最后驳倒自己在首句提出的观点。

However, hardly could we ignore that with improvement of society, it is convenient and efficient to cook. The tools of cooking are so portable that it is easier to use. Obviously, the restaurant will get better and better. More and more people do not want to cook and then go to the restaurant to enjoy meals. In addition, all kinds of delicious food are provided there to meet the demands of different groups whatever we want in the restaurant. What is worth mentioning is the service. Workers are very friendly and nice, when I am in trouble or I have some questions, they will help me out by answering my questions very patiently.The most important thing is that the food in the restaurant are better and healthier. It will be safety to enjoy the food.
点评：支持段落，前两句说做饭程序简单了，后面说餐馆好了，不应该是放在一段里，一个段落只表达一个中心思想，而且中心句应该放在**句提出来，再者这段与让步段没有联系起来，段落间的连贯性显得比较差。

In brief, an issue whether people will spend less time cooking and preparing food in twenty years than they do today is complex. Everyone has their own opinion. As a result, I still agree with the statement.
点评：前面的两句是模版句，简单，适用较多情况。一篇好的作文、满分作文不是这样的，而是应该总结主体段的观点。第三句as a result用的不合适，这里并没有那么强的因果关系，而是针对前面的讨论提出自己的观点。

两个考试区别挺多的，一考试形式不同，雅思纸考，笔试口试分开进行，托福听说读写都采取机考；二考试内容托福侧重学术化，雅思的特点是生活化、口语化，实用性强；三雅思考试用途更为广泛，可用于留学、移民、培训等，可信度更高，托福则只用于留学。