2分钟左右的英文故事，加中文，别太难。

2分钟左右的英文故事，加中文，别太难。

这有几个幽默的。不过只有一个有中文。希望有所帮助。

Father's Things
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.
Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.
Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my ties, Tom?"
"Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom.
"And that shirt's mine too."
"Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom.
"And you're wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard. "Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"
父亲的东西
汤姆.霍德华十七岁的时候，长得和父亲一样高了，于是当他晚上和朋友一起出去时，就开始借父亲的衣服穿。
霍德华先生可不喜欢这样，当他发现他的儿子穿他的衣服时，总是非常生气。
一天晚上，汤姆下楼准备出去，父亲在门厅里拦住了他。他细细打量着汤姆的穿着。
然后他气呼呼地说：“汤姆，那不是我的一条领带吗？”
汤姆回答说：“是的，父亲，是你的领带。”
“还有那衬衫也是我的。”
“是的，衬衫也是你的。”汤姆回答说。
“还有呢，你连皮带也用我的。”霍德华先生说。
“是的，父亲，”汤姆回答说，“你不愿意让你的裤子掉下来吧？”

（一）A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: God, what is a million dollars to you? And God says: A penny, then the man says: God, what is a million years to you? And God says: a second, then the man says: God, can I have a penny? and God says In a second

（二）Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, Congratulations, you got twins. The man said how strange, I’m the manager of Minnesota Twins. After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, Congratulations, you got triplets. Man was like Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the 3 musketeers. Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says Congratulations, you got twins x2. Man is happy and says, Ironic, I work for the hotel 4 Seasons. All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what’s wrong and he answered, what’s wrong? I work for 7up!

Delightful animated feature from Walt Disney Pictures about a naive young lion cub destined for greatness. Born the son of a beloved and authoritative king he's groomed to be the next ruler of the kingdom, but along the way he encounters tragic detours at the hands of his villainous uncle and his scheming hyena henchmen. Years later, as an adult, he decides to embrace his destiny and take his proper place in the Circle of Life. Warm, intelligent, laugh-out loud funny film is a triumph in every aspect; unforgettable songs, snappy dialogue, remarkable animation, and a stellar cast of voices make this a treat for all ages. A rousing adventure that you can enjoy again and again, and arguably one of the finest animated films ever made. 译文： 愉快的动画片，从华特迪士尼影片一个单纯幼稚的狮子幼崽的伟大注定。愉快的动画片，从华特迪士尼影片一个单纯幼稚的狮子幼崽的伟大注定。 诞生了一个可爱的，权威的国王，他的培养成为未来的王国统治者的儿子，但前进的道路上，他遇到了他的罪恶的叔叔和他的策划鬣狗亲信手中的悲惨弯路。诞生了一个可爱的，权威的国王，他的培养成为未来的王国统治者的儿子，但前进的道路上，他遇到了他的罪恶的叔叔和他的策划鬣狗亲信手中的悲惨弯路。 多年以后，作为一个成年人，多年以后，作为一个成年人， 他决定接受他的命运和参与生命周期的适当位置。他决定接受他的命运和参与生命周期的适当位置。 温，智能，笑，大声有趣的电影是在各个方面的胜利，令人难忘的歌曲，活泼的对话，出色的动画和恒星的声音使这一投为所有年龄的治疗。温，智能，笑，大声有趣的电影是在各个方面的胜利，令人难忘的歌曲，活泼的对话，出色的动画和恒星的声音使这一投为所有年龄的治疗。 阿热烈冒险，您可以享受一次又一次，甚至可说是有史以来最优秀的动画片之一。阿热烈冒险，您可以享受一次又一次，甚至可说是有史以来最优秀的动画片之一。 另一种译文： 宜人的动画片从迪士尼关于一个少不更事的狮子注定前途不可限量。宜人的动画片从迪士尼关于一个少不更事的狮子注定前途不可限量。 出生的儿子一个心爱的培训和权威的国王,他成为下一任的统治者的王国,但一路走来,他遭遇悲惨的迂回的灵叔叔和他的诡计多端的土的追随者。出生的儿子一个心爱的培训和权威的国王,他成为下一任的统治者的王国,但一路走来,他遭遇悲惨的迂回的灵叔叔和他的诡计多端的土的追随者。 多年以后,作为一个成年人,他决定接受他的命运和拿他的适当位置在生命的循环。多年以后,作为一个成年人,他决定接受他的命运和拿他的适当位置在生命的循环。 温暖的,聪明的,laugh-out响亮的有趣的电影是一个胜利的方方面面,令人难忘的歌曲,热闹非凡的对话中,动画,一个演员的声音使这一治疗。温暖的,聪明的,laugh-out响亮的有趣的电影是一个胜利的方方面面,令人难忘的歌曲,热闹非凡的对话中,动画,一个演员的声音使这一治疗。 你能振奋的冒险,享受一遍又一遍,可以说是最好的动画电影你能振奋的冒险,享受一遍又一遍,可以说是最好的动画电影

peter dozed off while his teacher was talking. 老师正在讲课，彼得打起瞌睡来了。 teacher: peter！tell us, what's the biggest in the world? 老师：彼得！你说说，世界上什么最大？ peter: well, well....eyelids.... 彼得: 嗯……嗯……眼皮…… teacher: what？eyelids？ 老师：什么？眼皮？ peter: yes, sir. because as soon as i shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world. 彼得：是的，老师。因为我眼睛一闭，眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了 he won tommy: how is your little brother, johnny? johnny: he is ill in bed. he hurt himself. tommy: that's too bad. how did that happen? johnny: we played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。 i have his ear in my pocket ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "what happened?" "a kid bit me," replied ivan. "would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "i'd know him any where," said ivan. "i have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” a good boy little robert asked his mother for two cents. "what did you do with the money i gave you yesterday?" "i gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "you're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "here are two cents more. but why are you so interested in the old woman?" "she is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” drunk one day, a father and his little son were going home. at this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. now, he asked, "what's the meaning of the word 'drunk', dad?" "well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. if i regard the two policemen as four then i am drunk." "but, dad," the boy said, " there's only one policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” hospitality the hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. the little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. the visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "you must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. where did you find the cheese?" "in the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。 英语小笑话 上个星期五我穿了一件 adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "do you know what does it mean? it means all day i dream about sex.我整天都在想著 性, 缩写正好是 adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的 一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是 a.d.i.d.a.s, (all day i dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.